Today is a weird day. That's the only way to describe it. Both the kids are testing my patience, and if you know me at all, you know I lack in that department. William is Mr. Crabby Pants today! If I'm not holding him and bouncing him around he's freaking out. This doesn't work when I have a three year old who wants me to play with her. I worry that Samantha will grow up to resent William, and me, because on so many occasions I have to deny her my time. I hate it! She wants my attention so badly, but William also needs me. For example, today she wanted me to play a game with her; in the middle of our game William started crying and I knew he was hungry. So, I had to tell her to put the game away and find another toy to play with while I fed William. I didn't want to, but I had no choice. How do I find a balance and give both of them equal time?
To make matters more difficult Samantha has an attitude of a teenager. She doesn't listen, she talks back, and I have to tell her a million times to do something until she actually does it. Everyone keeps telling me that this stage will pass. That all three year olds are like this, but I am afraid she might just be this way forever. I don't want to think of her as spoiled, but she sure acts like it. Unfortunately, one of her new phrases to say is "I can do what I want!" Um, I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, she is a good girl. She has such a big heart. She loves her brother so much, in fact she will sing to him when he is upset. She scolds me when I yell at the cats, even though they deserve it. And she gives the best hugs and kisses. How can one child have so much personality and so many different sides to her? So you're probably asking yourself, okay what's so weird about this day? Sounds like a typical day with an infant and toddler to me. And it is, but the strange thing is, I am loving today! Despite my headache (most likely caused by my two children), and the urge to pull out my hair, I am having a great day! Now, that is one big oxymoron! Seeing William smile in between his fits, and watching Samantha color with so much concentration, makes up for all the bad moments.
Now, if only I can master the art of having patience. This is definitely my biggest challenge, and I am constantly having to work on this daily. Just recently, I have really felt a desire to lift up this challenge to God. Daily I ask him to give me guidance and wisdom in raising my children. I want to love them without spoiling them, discipline without yelling (this is a tough one for me), and to teach them that our God is a loving and forgiving God, and that we need to live our lives for him. Wish me luck. :)
I once knew a little girl who also had many sides. She loved to rough house, but she could also play quietly with puzzles and color books. She was (and apparently still is) incredibly impatient, and her impatience was almost always directed at herself because she wanted to do things perfectly at a very young age. She loved to cuddle, especially at night in my bed. She probably sassed me plenty, but luckily for her I couldn't understand everything she said. She was also very compassionate. I remember a Mother's Day when she kept bringing me her own toys wrapped in homemade giftwrap (she felt bad because she didn't have a store-bought present for me). But then she'd leave me really weird notes on my nightstand telling me how mad she was at me--signed with Love!! Now that's an oxymoron. Luckily for me, and for her, she was the little sister---not the big one. So she didn't usually have to wait for my attention. But I don't think she always got the kind of attention she expected--must be why I got those nighttime notes. She turned out just fine. She still has a multi-faceted personity---my hot & cold girl. I wouldn't change her at all. Life with Samantha will never be boring. But she's not spoiled. You can't spoil a child by loving them. You spoil them when you give in to them. You spoil them when you don't set limits. You do them a favor when you teach them that the world doesn't revolve around them and that other's needs sometimes come first. Samantha will grow up to be just as loving (and sometimes frustating) as her mother is. And someday a man as special as her daddy is will appreciate her many sides, too!!
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